Every episode of Gossip Girl begins with the narrator stating, “And who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell.” As I was watching an episode of Gossip Girl this week, it struck me that everyone is entitled to their own individual inner selves that are closed off from all other people. My inner thoughts that control who I am are dictated by my stream of consciousness, which only I understand. I modify my stream of consciousness into comparably formal, organized speaking in order for others to understand what I am saying, and to try to explain who I am.
Our thoughts are organized in a disorganized way, jumping from thought to thought in a seemingly random way. The logic and pattern of thinking is only understandable to the person thinking the thoughts. This style of thinking is known in literature as stream of consciousness, and it portrays an individuals point of view. This loose monologue is demonstrated in Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway. Mrs. Dalloway describes her day in a way that is convoluted, and difficult to follow. Since the story is told in the stream of consciousness style, it allows the reader to experience exactly what Mrs. Dalloway is thinking. The reader learns so much more about Mrs. Dalloway’s character this way; just in the first few pages the reader learns she is reflective, critical, and concerned with appearances. Without experiencing her inner thoughts, the reader would have elucidated considerably less about Mrs. Dalloway.
Stream of consciousness is different from formal speaking and organized writing. Formal speaking and organized writing is presented in a concise and understandable way, and is the style present in the majority of novels, articles, and speeches. The style of stream of consciousness is almost the opposite of formal writing; it has no decipherable pattern, and no connections between ideas. Since a person thinks and feels in a disorganized manner, and has to present thoughts in an arranged way, a conversion has to take place.
In order for an author to convert his thoughts into stream of conscious, he has to redevelop and restructure his thoughts. Thoughts begin a process to transform from what you really feel to what is understandable to those who you want to convey your thoughts to. Reflecting on the fact that there is a conversion from inner to outer thoughts makes me wonder if maybe no one really understands what you are really trying to say. Since your true meaning and intention can get lost in the translation, I am curious if anyone truly knows who you are?
There is a certain dissension between who one is interiorly and how you appear to everyone else. The narrator of Gossip Girl understands that who one really is is a secret. True understanding of a person comes from the comprehension of inner thoughts, and the only person privy to that information is the person himself. I’ve always hoped that at least a few people in my life truly know me, and it is unnerving to know that a person is never fully understood by anyone else.
Woolf, Virginia. Mrs. Dalloway. Orlando: Harcourt, Inc. 1925. Print.
Maybe we may never know exactly what another person is like, but isn't it fun getting to know another person. The best part is that people never end. In other words, we could get to know someone for the rest of our lives and still not know them all the way through. This is what makes relationships in which both parties want desperately to get to know the other well so meaningful. These true relationships never get old (or monotonous or boring) because we as individuals are always growing. Watching and experiencing that growth with someone else is one of the most enriching experiences I have every had.
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